Ever pondered about what sex would feel like in a long-term relationship? Maybe some of you think that the idea of being intimate with one partner only would make sex feel safe and stable? While some appreciate the safety and stability that comes within healthy long-term relationships, others find that their sex lives can become dull and predictably decline over time. If you’re feeling that sex in your long-term relationship just isn’t fun anymore, read on as we reveal the truth about why sex can decline in a long-term relationship and what to do to improve your bedroom situation.
Sex Often Begins In Overdrive
Early in relationships, couples often get swept away by emotions of love and excitement that entice them to get physical often. This is because the thought of being with someone new is enchanting. You would want to explore one another in all aspects – personal, emotional, mental, physical and of course sexual. The rush of endorphins that we feel after falling in love can motivate us to engage in sex early on in the relationship. However, as time progresses and the relationship settles into a routine, when mysterious unknowns of the new relationship reveals itself, that new relationship novelty can wear off resulting in less sex than before.
Loss Of Interest In Sex Overtime
Sexual desires within long term relationships can ebb and flow and usually change due to several reasons.
7 Reasons Sex Can Decline In Long-Term Relationships:
- Stress, anxiety and busy schedules
- Scarcity of sleep
- Hormonal changes/issues
- Medication side effects
- Mental health struggles
- Low self-esteem
- Tough or tiring life changes (e.g. a new baby or a new job)
Life can bring us stressful and overwhelming experiences at times. So, there is no shame in a decreased desire for sex in a long-term relationship. This isn’t something to feel bad about. These are natural and normal feelings that we all feel at times.
Relationship Problems Can Lead To A Decline In Sex
When a couple is having a lot of passionate sex, this can mean that the relationship is fulfilling for both parties. However, the opposite can also be true. When a couple isn’t happy with each other, chances are that their sex life probably isn’t that great. If one or both partners are disinterested in having sex, then there are likely deeper relationship issues present that need to be dealt with. If you feel like this may be an issue in your relationship, then try talking to your partner about his or her feelings about your sex life, or lack of it. Communication is always the key to a long-standing relationship.
Men Can Lack Sexual Desire Too
Contrary to popular opinion, men can lose interest in sex too. It’s not always true that men desire sex all the time. Both men and women experience sex drives, and it’s not only something women experience.
Spontaneous Vs. Responsive Desire
Sexual desires can be felt differently. Some people can feel an onset of spontaneous desire, which is an urge to have sex spontaneously before being aroused physically. For others, this may not be the case because some people need to be aroused physically before sex can take place. This is what we call responsive desire.
Therefore, take some time to understand your partner’s source of sexual desire and don’t be afraid to try different ways to entice him or her in the bedroom. Just because one person isn’t spontaneously aroused, does not mean that he or she cannot be physically aroused later on.
Don’t Pressure Your Partner To Have Sex
No one should feel forced to have sex if they do not wish to, even in a long-term relationship. Feeling pressured to have sex can result in one partner feeling negatively about the situation, which is the opposite of what sex is supposed to deliver. This can certainly lead to an unhappy sex life. Having sex due to a fear of not pleasing your partner can result in lower relationship and sexual fulfillment.
Instead of pressuring your partner to have sex, try talking to your partner to understand what he or she likes about having sex and what you both would like to gain from your sex lives. By doing this, it might remind you of where you can be more supportive to each other outside the bedroom which can help foster an emotional connection. A strong emotional bond is a great catalyst for sex!
Sex Doesn’t Need To Be Spontaneous To Be Sexy
There’s nothing wrong with planned sex! In fact, days on which you plan ahead to have sex can bring a sense of excitement and something to look forward to. It’s an opportunity to entice a sexual hype leading up to the date. Engaging in sexts and flirty texts are effective ways to stimulate sexual desire in long-term relationships.
Another way is to plan “First Base Dates”. These are dates where the couple can get together for a romantic date and do nothing but make out. By doing this, the couple doesn’t feel forced to have sex and can, instead rejoice in other physical pleasures. This also helps to build up sexual desire for when you are ready to have sex.
Having sex in long-term relationships can still be passionate and satisfying. So don’t fall into the trap of believing that sex lives are destined to decline over time in long-term relationships. In fact, many couples still engage in steamy sex in long-term relationships, but it requires effort! In fact, the better you know one another, the more content you would feel in engaging in new sexual experiences together. It is possible to establish the sex life you desire with your partner – all you have to do is communicate with each other, be open, and be willing to put in the work.
